My Divorce Story

Sandy Miller, Revolutionizing DivorceResolve, Reclaim and Rebuild are the stepping-stones of acceptance, self-discovery, and the beginnings of creating a new life, which I have come to know up close and personal.

Wrestling with the ache in my heart that something needed to change in my marriage, I took action. Not knowing how to broach the elephant that wasn’t only in the “bored” room, but had grown to enormous proportions and had taken over the kitchen, family room, and overcrowded the bedroom too.

This inner turmoil was tearing me apart. How did I get here? What actually happened? What do I do now? Where do I begin? In my desperation for change in my marriage, I summoned all the courage I could find to write a letter asking for a time out, an interim separation. To my shock and horror, this initial cry for help served as the catalyst, and like a vortex sucked me into a whirlwind of experiences which ultimately led to my divorce.

The eye of the storm was the greatest during the initial phase that I call Resolve. During this time, everything felt dark and hopeless and I was shaken to the very core of who I was, what I believed and stood for. All my hopes and dreams were shattered. I felt broken and ruined, with nothing left. My reality hit me in the face like a sledgehammer. It was at this time I reached out for help and began to unpackage my grief and loss, surrendering to the process of letting go. The dissolution of my long-term marriage became the change agent for me, on my personal inward journey.

Through this process I haven’t been able to gather all the pieces up and glue this vessel back together again like new, but I have begun to create a mosaic of me. This second phase I call Reclaim. This season is more than getting your mojo back. It is about self-discovery and self-acceptance. Each new piece represents a piece of my story, who I have come to be, my beliefs, values, and needs. It compares to going through the wreckage and salvaging pieces of yourself you want to keep and need on the journey ahead.

I am still in this final Rebuilding phase. Empowered, I am now on a mission to live a life of passion and purpose. I have renewed hope built on and a solid foundation, understanding and accepting who I am. The good, the bad and the ugly. Embracing my strengths, accepting my weaknesses, overcoming my obstacles and fears, I forge ahead with courage. To me, rebuilding is the journey ahead, able to be content with the discontent around me; realizing life is about growth and change. Being true to myself
I move ahead one step at a time designing a new life, a new normal.

I leave you with this brief synopsis of my divorce story, not to glibly say, ”been there, done that, and got the T-Shirt.” Yet, I have been there … and since have been able to come along side others on this painful inward journey. Letting go of unfulfilled hopes and dreams, acknowledging and accepting oneself, moving forward with a renewed hope for tomorrow, empowered to co-create the ending to your life story…

truly, a Revolutionizing Divorce!