Rejection REALLY Hurts! Nearly everyone has been a dumpee in some relationship, and no one enjoys it. Love hurts, and rejection REALLY Hurts. However, feeling rejected is an expected part of ending a relationship. After a relationship has ended, the best thing to do is take a time out and self-examine. You can take the experience of separation and overcome rejection to grow as a person.
How to Overcome Rejection and Grow
When LOVE hurts and you feel rejected, it is best to listen to your head and NOT your heart!
First, it may be appropriate to end the relationship because it was destructive for both parties. Accept the possibility that you and your love partner weren’t able to make your love relationship meet your needs and provide you happiness. It appears that somehow or another, you didn’t learn enough about loving and communicating with each other.
Another step towards overcoming those feelings of rejection is to learn that the breakup of the love relationship was NOT your fault. Everyone brings much of the past into a love relationship, and the past determines the course of events in the relationship. Because the relationship ended does not necessarily mean that you are inadequate or inferior or that there is something wrong with YOU! Maybe that ending is not an indication of inadequacy at all! Come to accept your humanness. Nobody is perfect!
The goal is to say, “If” we have a problem, it’s not because something is terribly wrong with me. If we can’t work it out, then he (she) has as much to lose as I have – maybe more. Feeling that good about yourself is a challenging goal to reach. Don’t be discouraged if it takes quite a period of time to admit that the responsibility is mutual, not yours or your ex-partner’s alone.
You are a worthwhile person, capable of loving and being loved. You have something special to offer to others, and YOU are a unique individual self.
Remember, in the aftermath of this situation, you can change yourself into a better person who can build a productive, meaningful relationship in the future. As an adult, you feel bad because your love relationship didn’t work. Perhaps you even feel like a failure. Yet, as you move forward, ask yourself, what can I take from this experience and do better next time. Who am I becoming?
Rejection and guilt are closely tied to feelings of self-worth and self-love. As you improve your feelings of self-worth and self-love, you will be less devastated by life’s rejections. Your history is your history, you cannot change it. However, you can begin to rebuild your life and intentionally put in place what you want and need in a future love relationship.
REMEMBER: YOU have a lot to offer by being your TRUE authentic SELF
Reflections
1. How has your history, and family of origin contributed to the breakdown of your marriage?
2. What blind spots about yourself have moved into your line of sight that you would like to work on in the future?
3. What things do you need in a relationship to fill your “love tank”?
For one-on-one coaching, contact Sandy to book an appointment today!. A certified divorce coach can help overcome rejection after separation/breakup.
