Initially after divorce you may find that in your pain you avoid friends unless they are the safe ones you can talk to about your life. When you feel so wounded, rejected, and your self-worth is so annihilated it feels safest to share with only those most trusted friends or family. Three weeks after my final separation I moved half a province away from all my closest friends to be closer to my family which then became another whole set of losses. For a time my immediate family bore the brunt of all my processing. 
As you begin to heal, and as you navigate through the adjustments in your friendships: the ones you keep, the ones who move on, you begin to reach out to more people, but cautiously because there is still a lot of fear of being rejected.
Where do you meet new people? It is best to start slow and just add to your pool of acquaintances. People you meet at the grocery store, church, or book club; ceramic, aqua size, or personal growth classes; the library, work or just out walking the dog.
As you become more comfortable with yourself, you are able to begin to enjoy people without so much fear of rejection and new relationships will start to enrich your life. If you come across as lonely, desperate, and needy people will not want to be around you. But as you develop a genuine interest in others you will actually be an inviting person to others.
When you are ready to really invest in new friendships and feel comfortable doing so you can take next steps by joining a divorce coaching group, participate in a personal growth seminar or join a club or small group that encourages relationship building. Check about these with local churches, colleges, Y’s, mental health centers, marriage counsellors, psychologists, and your divorce coach.
You can get more intentionally involved in the groups you already belong to. Meet with others and discuss the topics on this blog. Share your own journey, and take time to play and have fun.
Meeting people online offers a limited resource as you need real time and space physicality to really meet the need we all have to connect.
Brene Brown states that we are hard wired for connection; Larry Crabb states that we were designed for connection. However its put humans are meant to connect and life is meant to be lived in relationship. Healing, then, means reaching out to others and not living an isolated unconnected life.
As you face your fears, and seek out friendships, your life will be enriched and much more satisfying.
-written by Beverly vanDiepen
Reflections:
1. Where can You go to meet new people?
2. Who are you curious about, that you would be willing to risk in getting to know better?
3. What group do you currently belong to, or what new groups could you join soon, to broaden your friendship circle?
