It’s been said that self-awareness is the first step in the growth process. In other words, ‘know yourself and grow yourself.’ Understanding how well you cope with change is a key factor in determining if you are ready for separation and divorce. Separation and divorce are not for the faint-hearted. It takes a lot of stamina and perseverance to move through the various aspects of change, including new relationships, and periods of loneliness. This is one of those phases of life when the only constant is Change.
Tolerance to Change
Notice how you respond to the following questions to determine how you cope with change. A conscious, developed awareness of your response to change can help you develop better coping.
Now, for the self-assessment:
Circle T or F for each of the statements below:
T / F 1- I am able to make a change even if everything isn’t 100 % right.
T / F 2 – I can make changes proactively before they are forced on me.
T / F 3 – I often look forward to change as exciting and challenging.
T / F 4- I am not the kind of person who has to be totally fed up before I’ll make any changes.
T / F 5- When confronted with a change that I disagree with, I try to accept it and if I can’t, I look for healthy ways of dealing with the change.
T / F 6- I never feel responsible for negative changes that come out of nowhere.
T / F 7- I realize that sometimes even “good” changes have an underside that may bring unexpected problems.
T / F 8- I realize that a positive change in one area of my life won’t solve all of my problems.
T / F 9- When coming to terms with a major change in my life, I try to keep other changes to a minimum.
T / F 10- When a change or transition occurs, I review how I have handled other such events in my life for lessons on how to cope with this event.
T / F 11- I look for other people who have undergone similar changes as models for how I might better cope with the change in my life.
T / F 12- During a time of change, I ask for help and support from those reliable friends and outside professionals that I trust.
T / F 13- After a life-changing event, I step back from the situation to get perspective and give myself time to regain a sense of balance.
T / F 14- When a change occurs, I try to look at the “big picture” and acknowledge mixed feelings I might have.
T / F 15- I don’t hold onto the “way things used to be,” but instead move into “the way things are” or the way that I would like them to be.
T / F 16- In order to make a necessary change, I am willing to risk the disapproval and lack of support from others.
T / F 17- When something positive happens for someone that might change our relationship, I don’t let my fears get in the way of being supportive of that person.
SCORE: Count the number of False Statements (F’s circled). If you have 6 or more false statements, you may struggle in your transition and find value in working 1-1 with a Divorce Coach in this first phase of the process. Preparing yourself for the journey is a determining factor in positively being able to move forward towards the new life you want.
For a full assessment of your readiness for Divorce and Separation, contact Sandy to book an appointment today!