This is not the time to be a vigilante…go it alone, or to “suck it up butter cup.”
This is a time to be vulnerable and authentic and ask for the help and support you need.
You are not a ROCK or an island…but a human being designed to love and to be loved.
When we go through a transition of any kind we are often knocked off our balance. During this time it is hard to think clearly, make good decisions and find our equilibrium. The transition from married to single again, is indeed one of those times. This natural confusion and uncertainty is heightened with the emotional pain and grief that floods us. YET…it is precisely at this time when we need support the most.
What does your support network look like?
Besides, hiring professionals and specialists who will help you in making good business sense, a personal support network is needed.
Who are the people who will come along side of you through the next 12-18 months, and will journey with you through muck and the mire? Who will stay the course until you are through to the other side?
Start your list…
Will the above mentioned friends take the time to listen, offer support, brainstorm, help you think through decisions, be a sounding board, offer encouragement and champion you along the way?
This is a BIG Ask for any family member or friend. Yet, this is exactly what you need.
What do you need at this time… emotionally and practically?
The saying goes, “many hands make light work.” This same concept is true for our support network. No one person can take on all the above for the length of time support is needed.
It is important to get clarity. Who is your go to person, and for what? Not all friends are equal…thus the network.
Reflections:
1. What type of support do I need?
2. Who will I ask?
3. Who can I count on during this time and for what? Be specific!
First, may I suggest at least 2 – 3 people who will become your inner circle, like friends on either side of you, able to hold you up, shoulder the load, and take turns carrying your emotional backpack. These friends will listen, cheer you on and be at your side. They will be able to shed some light and offer you hope.
Next, who can you count on to give practical help, do acts of kindness, or to offer a service and lighten the load?
Finally…input these names and numbers into your contact list on your phone.
It takes courage and vulnerability to ask for help, however…all you have to do is call!
The next BLOG I’ll address how support groups can be a vital part of your support network and a needed and necessary part of moving forward.
