Why would you wait to find a new romantic interest? After all love is what we need. Right? With all the love and romance, however, new relationships inherently bring change, adjustment, conflicts, and learning how the other person operates as a human being. And the truth is that if our past love relationship is not emotionally ended our new love relationship will be infiltrated by old garbage from the past.
What’s important at this phase of life is to come to terms with being a single, independent human being: a healthy person, someone who knows how to live alone and be a happy person. Becoming that whole person then creates the environment in their life to attract other healthy people into their life.
You start with healthy friendships of both genders. How about a healthy, non-sexual relationship with a member of the opposite sex? This may never have happened in your life before. Since good solid friendship is the best foundation for romance, this is the direction to take.
What does whole and healthy look like? It is about open, honest communication, trust, sharing, having fun together, integrity, and resolving conflict that arises in healthy ways. How do we make that happen when where we come from was anything but that healthy ideal? We start slowly and cautiously and with intention. When these are the friendship goals it is easy to see when the other person is not there, not ready to be healthy or has a totally different agenda. I ran from several relationships when I realized that their agenda was entirely different than mine. Better to be single than entrapped all over again!
Friendship can lead to romance and often does. And while marriage might be the furthest from your mind, it may come around again. What you then bring to the table is the ability to have a healthy marriage if you so choose. Healthy happy people have the best chance of a healthy happy marriage. In the meantime you build a network of healthy relationships and build a healthy community around you.
Here’s to a happy, healthy YOU!
-written by Beverly vanDiepen
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