This advent season we think about qualities that maybe we wish we had more of, like hope. In fact, this may be a season that feels particularly hopeless.
This may be the first Christmas after your partner left the house. You are on your own. And even if you are the one who asked him/her to leave there is a hole, things are not as they once were, and there is no possibility for life to be better with them. It is over. There is relief that the struggle is over. There is relief that the fighting, anger, and lies are gone. But there is also emptiness. You tried so hard to make things better, be supportive, create change. It went from bad to worse and here you are: on your own.
First, what is hope? Hope is confident expectation of things we do not yet have, but that we expect we can have. It is assurance of good outcomes.
What are the things I know for sure? I know that I can change only myself. Each person is responsible for their own behaviour and choices. I am responsible for my life choices, no one else’s. I can grow. I have been growing. I know I can move past where I have been, and where I am now. I can hope for growth.
I know I can make powerful choices for good in my life and my children’s lives. These might include holding my tongue, or saying what needs to be said. I know when I am overwhelmed and need a break. I am not perfect. I can hope for positive times with myself and my children this season.
I know that everyone has this fairy tale idea of what Christmas is all about and how it should be celebrated. Maybe this is the first year where I get to really choose how it will go and not go. I know I can create new traditions at this time of the year. They take imagination, energy and money, and might seem to be impossible.
Maybe in the realm of hope I can reach for just a moment of calm connection or less chaos or moments of not sadness and feel like somehow I succeeded this Advent, the time of the celebration of the birth of Jesus as the hope for this world.
Remember that hope is real. It has force and power in our lives to keep us going through dark times.
To think about:
•What can you do to cultivate hope in your life?
•What moments can you take to experience calm, peace, enjoyment?
•How will you breathe in any moment of wonder this season?
Contributing writer: Beverly van Diepen