With divorce and separation, self-care is vital to progress through divorce recovery. With so much change in your life, it is easy to forget to prioritize yourself. I’m sure you’ve heard it said, “If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will.”
TRUE?
The transition from married to single again exerts a lot of energy, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
In order to continually move along in the process, and NOT get stuck or caught in the tyranny of urgent, time is needed to regroup, and replenish.
What is self-care?
Self-care is the act of looking after yourself emotionally and physically to better cope with the stressors of life. Self-care is especially important after divorce because the stressors are much higher. It is important to note that self-care is not indulgence or laziness. Instead, self-care is a requirement to optimize your well-being and health.
There are many ways to practice self-care. You may have heard others recommend practices such as spending time in nature, meditation, or journaling. However, these recommendations overlook that every person is different, and not every self-care practice will work for everyone. What is even more challenging is that, in many cases, we do not even know the self-care practice that is best for us.
How do we determine the best self-care practices? One of the most significant factors determining effective self-care practices is our personality.
The role of your Personality in Self-Care during Separation
How you replenish is directly related to whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. The main deciding factor is determining if you lean one way or the other, The BIG question to ask yourself is: do people energize me or deplete me?
If people energize you, you require activities with other people to rev your engine and refuel you. Time alone for extroverts is likened to having your battery slowly drained and depleted.
The exact opposite is true for an introvert. Introverts can be outgoing and enjoy people, however, this would not be a replenishing activity but one that slowly depletes your internal reservoir. Introverts need time alone to pull away from the busyness of life to replenish. Replenishing to an introvert is usually spending time alone in quiet activities which DO NOT involve others.
There is no one way to skin the cat…but all cats, whether introverts or extroverts need replenishing and refueling. It is a matter of determining what do YOU need to keep your battery recharged and keep growing and moving forward.
What are you doing to replenish yourself?
Replenishing can often be similar to “play” where we get lost in the moment and caught up in something and lose all track of time. Things that replenish can also offer us an opportunity to be innovative and creative.
Replenishing to an introvert can be adding back in the simple, pleasurable things in life, like quiet time reading a book, taking up a new hobby, meeting a friend for coffee, or going to a place of worship, listening to music, gardening, watching a movie, etc. Less is more
To an extrovert replenishing means busyness, time with people, activity, hustle and bustle, and the excitement and synergy of group collaboration…more is better,
What are you missing in your life right now? Perhaps it is something you once did with vim and vigor, but have let it go to the wayside, while mustering up all your strength to go through divorce.
What do you need?
Today take time to think of your self-care?
Again, if you don’t take care of yourself, NO ONE ELSE WILL!
Reflections:
- How do you replenish alone or with others?
- What area of your life do you need to address: physical, emotional or spiritual?
- Think back to when you were a young adult, what did you like to do and how did you spend your leisure time?
- Brainstorm numerous options of things that would/could refill and replenish you.
- Narrow down your list to 1 – 2 things that you can add immediately on a weekly basis. Set a plan of action. When, where and how you will do this, starting this week!
To measure your self-care, take this Self-Care Assessment.
If you’re struggling to take care of yourself, contact Sandy to book a session today. An experienced certified divorce coach can help identify activities that best replenish you. For more advice on divorce recovery, be sure to visit the blog.
