As a Divorce Coach, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard new divorcees say, ‘I’m NEVER going to fall in love again, or become romantic again, and fore sure… I NEVER NEVER will EVER get married again!” That adamant sentence spewed out of the mouth is par for the course in the early stages of the separation and divorce. After so much pain and heartache, it is unimaginable to think that we can or will ever love or be loved again. However, with the right approach, we can once again find love after divorce and separation.
What’s love got to do with it ANYWAYS?
For this 4 part series, I will grapple with the topic of LOVE from various perspectives.
First, we cannot GIVE what we do not have! To love another, we must first love ourselves.
Self-love still carries with it the stigma of selfishness, being egocentric, and “needy.” Logic tells us we can only give what we possess, so we work harder at getting more “stuff,” so that out of our abundance, we can give. Yet, love is NOT about giving possessions, but giving of oneself! If you truly LOVE someone you want that person to have the best you have to offer. It is through understanding and acceptance of yourself, your needs, and what you require for happiness that you can comprehend and appreciate the needs of others.
I’ve heard it said that the purpose of dating is to get to know yourself. What a profound thought. As you trust yourself, you can begin to trust others. As you are confident in who you are you can embrace the freedom to be yourself and extend that grace to others as well. Thus begins the dance…
Earlier in this blog, we addressed self-care, offering various suggestions and tests to know yourself and be true to yourself.
So…could now perhaps be the time to explore LOVE? How do we get to know ourselves better as we begin to interact with others? Ready?
Reflections
1. How do you know you are loveable?
2. What makes you afraid of being loved?
3. What makes you afraid of loving another?
Check out other posts in this series:
Love…a Burning Ring of Fire?
To Love, Is To EXPOSE Yourself!
Unconditional Love
For personalized coaching to find love after separation, contact Sandy to book an appointment today!
